Weak minded people avoid making decisions because they are afraid of change and consequence. Weak minded people are prone to bad decision making and have little to no self control. Weak minded people often choose the easy way out and back out when things get rough. Weak minded people are quick to give up and often allow their emotions get the best of them. Weak minded people complain but fail to make an attempts to fix things. Weak minded people lack good judgement and exhibit mental feebleness. Weak minded people simple don’t belong in my life.
It’s like, everyday I realize something new. Everyday I give myself new reasons to stay away. And everyday, I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I didn’t see it all earlier. When I think too much, I temporarily let myself escape into this romanticism of what I thought it was. Then reality hits me and suddenly all of the bad is magnified once again. I criticize myself over and over again because I knew what was happening and somehow, I was able to look past it when really, I should have left.
I believe that there is a tasteful way to cuss. Its perfectly acceptable to cuss when joking around or exaggerating your point. It’s fine to say it when expressing emotions as well. But I find it very distasteful for people, especially females, to cuss without reason. If you unnecessarily use foul language out of habit and during casual conversation, my impression of you is already altered.
Is it wrong to say that I’m happy with myself? Is it wrong to say I’m proud of who I am? Is it wrong to be content with how my life is and where it’s headed? Is it wrong that I want to be myself and not anyone else? People seem to constantly bombard themselves with their insecurities and for once, I want to hear someone say that they love who they are. It took some time and sure, I have my down days, but I’m who I’ve chosen to be and I couldn’t be happier with my decisions. Unfortunately, that concept seems uncommon these days.
It’s amazing how one song can make you feel so alive. It’s as if all of your worries have disappeared. It’s as if you’ve went back in time, back to a time where everything was perfect. It’s amazing how one song can change everything. One song gives you hope and makes you want to dance around out of pure happiness. One song can bring you to your feet and make you feel as if you’re on top of the world. How one song makes the world look so beautiful. Just one song tells you everything will be alright. It’s like the sun shone a little brighter and finally, everything began making sense. It’s just amazing…
In some ways, I use to blame her for ruining the relationship. I blamed her for how things were. But really, it was his fault. It was him all along. He’s really the one with the problems. I guess I never wanted to believe that, but it’s true. I’d never hold her accountable for all that happened, at least not anymore. He was the reason it didn’t work, not her. She had her reasons and I can’t judge her, in fact, I can accept it. But I can judge him because he knew what he was doing, he knew who he was hurting and somehow, that never seemed to register to him. He never seemed to realize how his actions affected other people.
I wish I could tell you how I feel on this day. I wish I could tell you, but I can’t and I won’t. I don’t think you’d want to know how I feel anyways. I think I’ll just feel this way for a while longer and maybe one day I’ll let you know how it is that I feel.
I make mistakes. I’m only human. I say the wrong things, I do the wrong things, and sometimes I hurt people. But I’m trying my best. I’m trying to make sense of the world, to make sense of everyone else, to make sense of myself. I’m trying to be a better person, I really am. Not only for myself, but for everyone in my life. I want to be better for all of you.
I spent some time at my middle school today. I ran a few laps and did some suicides. Then I watched them repaint the lines on the soccer field. But I started getting cold so I ran a mile, then I walked home.
No, I’m not suicidal, nor am I depressed. But I don’t like life anymore. I guess I’m just tired of the people around me and more than anything, I’m tired of what’s happening in the world. I just don’t believe in people anymore and I don’t want to be here anymore. Life is wrong, the world is wrong, we are all wrong. And I don’t like it.